she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
