And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
