tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Damn victory sex feels great
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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