He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
