Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
