I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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