You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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