At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
