I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
