I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
