Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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