so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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