Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
