People in love make me want to vomit
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
