I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
