yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
