Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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(410): View more from Maryland

you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

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(253): View more from Washington

she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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(904): View more from Florida

I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.

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(941): View more from Florida

With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.

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