I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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