idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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