We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
