i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
