Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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