despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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