Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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