So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
