would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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