I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
