So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
