All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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