new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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