porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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