she looked like the before picture.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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