Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
