i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
