please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize