somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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