He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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