Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
