Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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