The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
