Your dad touched me again.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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