I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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