I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
