Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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