its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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