I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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