Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
