end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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