Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
