Who wears a wallet chain?!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
