U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
