I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
