this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize