Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
