i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
