well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
