dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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