She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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