ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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