I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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